England Crash Out As Blatter Wins Again

We all suspected that this was one match too many for England's rag-tag team of old timers and Premier League almost men, but the nature of the defeat left a sour taste in the mouth.

England started off in usual fashion, going 2 down as Germans ripped apart the English defence, with Keown, Campbell and Neville unable to keep up with the pace. But then, inevitably, the bulldog spirit began to show through. Against all odds, Shearer scored and England began to press. When Gazza rifled in a shot from 25 yards to equalise, the controversy began. Sep Blatter waddled onto the pitch, had a word with the referee, who then disallowed the goal. He didn't give a reason.

You could see the English spirit break at this point, and it was no surprise when the Germans ran out 4-1 winners. It could have been a lot more, but at least this England team played with some pride and passion, and captured the hearts of the people in a way that the original kidnapped England team never could. In fact the official England fans organisation have since presented the Prime Minister with a petition signed by over ten million people requesting that the old England squad never be rescued.

When asked about his actions after the match, Blatter replied that he had no time to talk to the press as he was needed in Soccer City in a few hours to make sure the right team won that one too. When asked what he meant by that, he replied that we should wait and see.