France Exclusive

With news that the French squad has been plunged into crisis with the players refusing to train and thanks to our vast number of contacts here at Bizarro, we’ve managed to obtain a transcript of the conversation that went on in the French changing room at half time in the Mexico game.

Domenech: Ok boys, I’m getting the feeling you didn’t study the horoscopes that I told you was mandatory reading before the game.
Anelka: Screw the horoscopes we have to win this game if we’re going to salvage any pride.
Domenech: I knew it was a bad idea to play a Pisces as a lone striker. I cannot coach a team that does not share the same beliefs as me and I will not give you a team talk until Nikolas apologises. 
Anelka: Ok then, I'll do the team talk. Sidney, you’re crap, I say you go off and we bring on Thierry and try to up the tempo, these Mexicans are playing with passion and pride. Franck, get your head out of your arse and do something useful, Zinedine isn’t around anymore to bail us out.
Domenech: "You will be betrayed by someone close to you." You see why I tell you to read your horoscopes? I have forseen this my friends. Nikolas you will never play under me again unless you admit that the only way to manage a football team is with a deep understanding of the moon’s earth cycle. Now draw straws to see who will come on for him.
Domenech: Hmmm Gignac, at least it’s a striker for a striker, it might have been embarrassing if I’d brought on Clichy.