If you're bored of all the same articles appearing on all the serious football websites, this is the place to come for a more light-hearted view of the 2010 World Cup in South Africa. I should also point out that everything on the blog is complete fantasy, so shouldn't be taken seriously.

13 Jun 2010

England Reserves Start With Draw

Having been unable to secure the release of the kidnapped England squad, Schteve McClaren's reserve squad had to face the USA last night with barely a week of preparation. Not many people gave them a chance, with even the normally reserved American journalist Brad Schpiedelhacker, predicting a massacre.


The Yanks started well, dominating possession, and it looked like the tired legs of Shearer, Sheringham, Keown and Campbell were not going to keep up with the pace as Donovan and Dempsey controlled the play. The inevitable USA goal came on 37 minutes when Clint Dempsey mis-kicked a shot from 40 yards out and as it dribbled towards the goal, Manuel Almunia slipped over, letting it in. Nobody seemed surprised.


McClaren's half time team-talk, however, breathed new life into the team. They came out with a lot more determination in the second half, with some neat passing and passionate closing down, but still no sign of an equaliser. Then with 10 minutes left to go, Gazza was brought on. After 80 minutes on the bench drinking Special Brew, he was ready. After he stumbled through the empty beer cans onto the pitch, it was like he had never been away.


On 90 minutes, a sloppy pass from the otherwise excellent Paul Scholes let Donovan through on goal. What happened next was quite surreal as Martin Keown jumped on his back and rode him like a horse. The referee had no choice but to award a penalty.

Donovan strode up to take it himself, only to see it saved by the outstretched hands of Almunia. The rebound was picked up by Theo Walcott who raced up the pitch and attempted a simple square pass for a Shearer tap-in. His horrendous mis-kick smashed into the head of Gazza and flew into the goal a deserved equaliser.


England 1, USA 1.


We asked many of the players what Mr McClaren had told them at half time, but nobody was able to tell us. It was almost as if they couldn't understand a word he had said. Whatever it was, the English nation thanks you Schteve.

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