Exclusive - William Gallas Reports On France Squad

In an incredible coup for Bizarro World Cup Blog, we have managed to secure the services of some of the biggest names in football for our behind-the-scenes reporting on various world cup squads. We begin our coverage with this slightly unintelligible email from the France captain, William Gallas.

Monsieur Bizarro, I’m afraid I have some terrible news. The young players, they have no respect any more for the legends of the game. Today I walked into the changing room, and they did not all fall silent. I wasn’t expecting them to bow for me (although that would have been nice) but to continue their conversations was very arrogant. Do they not realise who I am? Without this respect, I fear for our chances in South Africa.

I told Raymond that I was too shocked to train today but he didn’t seem to mind as he was too busy with the horoscope, so the practice session was cancelled anyway.

After a nice lunch where I reminisced about the good old days with my great friend Thierry, we returned to the coach to find AD and HL (for the good of the team I will not be a whistleblower, but I should say that one is a tall midfielder at Arsenal who has a strangely shaped head and likes to give hospital passes, and the other is a goalkeeper with Lyon) sitting in our preferred seats. This was too much. I demanded they move, and they acted like it was all a joke. What is so funny about a 32-year-old legend of the national team getting upset about his seat on a bus?